How to Win Over a Wife
Thanks for the request, Kaitlyn.
- •I've never had to "win over" anyone in my life, but to make a wife more agreeable...
- •If she be Spanish:Praise her dancing, no matter how silly. Allow her ambassador to come to court without bathing.
- •If she be raised in the French court:Compliment her hood. Praise her beauty in French. Compose a song or poem about her maidenhead.
- •If she be a true English rose:She loves you so completely, her adoration is secured without word or deed. Give her every jewel in the treasury, anyway.
- •If she be a Germanic princess:Don't bother.
- •If she be young and airy in the head:Install extra looking glasses in her chamber. Surround her with flowers.
- •If she be extraordinarily intelligent:Look the other way as she explores heresy. Allow her to personally dress your leg wound.