MEANWHILE, AT THE TNC (TUDOR NATIONAL CONVENTION)

  1. Everyone is wearing jester hats with big turkey legs dangling
  2. Cromwell is giving the keynote address whilst I grin and slowly slash a finger across my neck offstage
  3. A bunch of Carthusians are protesting outside the building and will either feeltheburn or be beheaded shortly
  4. The crowd has been given "NEVER THE POPE" signs to wave
  5. I'll be taking the stage in a few minutes to introduce the people to their new queen, Jane, and make enthusiastic claims about her womb
  6. We'll close tonight with my original lute composition, "O Ginger King Whose Beauty Pleases"
  7. #imwithhenry