SEVEN 21ST CENTURY KATES I WOULD MARRY

  1. 1.
    Kate Middleton
    IN A YORK MINUTE.
  2. 2.
    Kate Moss
    We'd fatten the poor thing up proper.
  3. 3.
    Kate Winslet
    Who needs French girls when you could draw her?
  4. 4.
    Kate Hudson
    Delightfully bubbly and bendy.
  5. 5.
    Kate Beckinsale
    Incredibly lovely PLUS she dressed as a giant penis two days ago, and that was an obvious homage to me.
  6. 6.
    Kate Upton
    She'd look great in a bikini of Cloth of Gold.
  7. 7.
    Kate Gosselin
    That woman can crank out babies.