Thanks for the request, @solitarygigi.
  1. We are most pleased to formally address this, because...
  2. ...we despise the song. It's pure frippery. It has nothing whatsoever to do with our majesty, nor is it any sort of tribute to our proper place in world history.
  3. In the course of five hundred years no worthy composition has surfaced to commemorate our name, which is why we are delighted by the expectation Lin-Manuel Miranda will devote his talent to a musical certain to eclipse his current "hit."
  4. Static