WHY I HAVEN'T POSTED A LIST FOR SEVERAL FORTNIGHTS

I have been Li.stless.
  1. Failed audition for The Voice, waiting for The Lute.
  2. Counseling Donald Trump in diplomacy and tact.
  3. Attended Medieval Fair and discovered fried Twinkies. Bought Medieval Fair for Twinkie machine.
    Also, jousted and signed autographs.
  4. Oversaw Pumpkin Spice Fountain construction
  5. Seducing newly single Angelina Jolie for diplomatic connections
  6. Numerous fittings for Harambe fur codpiece