Top Things I Say to My Puppy

Awooga, my Bernese mountain dog, has been an amazing puppy so far. Here is a list of a majority of my dialogue with him:
  1. Sit!
    He thinks he should be standing. I think he should be sitting. The struggle is real.
  2. Down!
    He really likes pretending he is taller then he is. Dude, just enjoy being a puppy. Soon you will basically be a tiny, furry, horse.
  3. Stop!
    Awooga has lived with a perpetual green-light in his head.
  4. No biting!
    No matter how many times you nibble on me I'm not going to taste any better.
  5. No, you can't have him!
    This is mostly said around him towards sorority girls who have a crazy look in their eye like they are going to try to steal him.
  6. Drop it!
    When he can't bite me, he enjoys biting and carrying around other things. He likes shoes more than a suburban housewife.
  7. Good boy!
    By far, this is what he hears the most. I love this little guy!