Olympic Summer Sports I Think I Can Do (While I Sit On My Couch And Eat Ice Cream)

  1. Handball
    It's like soccer for people who suffer from bad hand-foot coordination.
  2. Badminton
    Tennis Instructor: "Oh you're not fast and a bit chubby, here's a badminton racket"
  3. Rhythmic Gymnastics
    Put a ribbon in my hand while I'm drunk and you've got yourself a gold medal performance.
  4. Sailing
    Don't think I can do the logistics of sailing, but I do excel on drinking on a boat
  5. Synchronized Swimming
    Totally could do this ^^^ (except I don't have 9 friends.)
  6. Table Tennis
    I have all the equipment in my garage. No excuse not to be an Olympic champion.
  7. Trampoline
    Don't know what this sport involves and I have been known to bounce all day in a bounce house.