BOOKS I NEVER WROTE AND ALSO MOVIES? I GUESS.
- •A couple sits down for dinner. Neither can remember the other. *Enter Jerry Seinfeld, hilarity ensues*
- •10 reasons why he/she isn't interested in you and what it's like to be hermaphrodite.
- •Tupperware and why it's tearing your family apart.
- •The movie would be titled E.T. Extra Testicle. It will be a romantic comedy.
- •Birds and bees and sexual consent. Action with a bit of horror.
- •Why at night my body is warm but my feet are cold and other reasons I'm God's mistake.
- •Two men go in for an arm wrestling match. Like all wrestling it is faked. Man "finishes".
- •Man around age 25 spends his night writing lists of things he's never done instead of working on said things. He chokes on some cake. Fin.