All the reasons I can't sleep tonight

Today I hosted a bridal shower for my best friend who's getting married soon. It was a huge success, if I do say so myself. Now it's 2 am and I'm laying on the couch watching Community and dreading my 6 am alarm. WHY CAN'T I JUST SLEEP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON? Here are the thoughts that are keeping me awake:
  1. I can't believe my best friend is getting married.
  2. I can't believe my best friend is getting married.
  3. What if I never get married?
  4. What if I never get married?
  5. Wow, I never used to think about these things.
  6. Wow, I never used to think about these things.
  7. Am I getting old??
  8. Am I getting old??
  9. Am I already old?
  10. Am I already old?
  11. How much longer do I have to have children??
  12. How much longer do I have to have children??
  13. Should I freeze my eggs??
  14. Should I freeze my eggs??
  15. It's the 21st century and totally acceptable to adopt or get a surrogate.
  16. It's the 21st century and totally acceptable to adopt or get a surrogate.
  17. What if I die alone?
  18. What if I die alone?
  19. Do I even want to get married?
  20. Do I even want to get married?
  21. I think I'm afraid of commitment.
  22. I think I'm afraid of commitment.
  23. I love Community.
  24. I love Community.
  25. Omg, I'm Jeff Winger.
  26. Omg, I'm Jeff Winger.
  27. This can't happen.
  28. This can't happen.
  29. Ot maybe I'm Britta?
  30. Ot maybe I'm Britta?
  31. Also terrifying.
  32. Also terrifying.
  33. What if I do have children and they are disastrous human beings?
  34. What if I do have children and they are disastrous human beings?
  35. What if I get married and it doesn't work out?
  36. What if I get married and it doesn't work out?
  37. What if my husband cheats on me?
  38. What if my husband cheats on me?
  39. What if I cheat on him?
  40. What if I cheat on him?
  41. I would never do that.
  42. I would never do that.
  43. Would I?
  44. Would I?
  45. Do I have any self-control?
  46. Do I have any self-control?
  47. What kind of person am I?
  48. What kind of person am I?
  49. What if have step children?
  50. What if have step children?
  51. What if I'm an evil step mother?
  52. What if I'm an evil step mother?
  53. Why can't I sleep?
  54. Why can't I sleep?
  55. What if I get desperate someday and marry someone I don't really love?
  56. What if I get desperate someday and marry someone I don't really love?
  57. Why is life so complicated?
  58. Why is life so complicated?
  59. Go to sleep, Kylie.
  60. Go to sleep, Kylie.