THE 5 EMOTIONAL STAGES OF APARTMENT HUNTING IN L.A.

The Internet is full of useful advice for how to find an apartment in L.A. What they don’t tell you is that, even if you follow all of their suggestions, the process of finding an apartment in L.A. will inevitably be long, miserable and depressing. Read more: http://bit.ly/ApartmentHuntingLA
  1. 1.
    Optimism
    It’s a beautiful day! So what if it took you two and half hours to find and look at the first apartment on your list. So what if that apartment was the size of your old closet? You knew you wouldn’t rent the first place you saw. The good news is that this place wasn’t even that bad. It was small, yes, and not totally in the right neighborhood, but you could have made it work. If you found this place on your very first day of looking, what gem will you find on day two or three?
  2. 2.
    Depression
    Craigslist ads should come with a warning label: apartments in this post are smaller and in a sketchier neighborhood than they appear. It is day seven of non-stop apartment hunting and every place you’ve looked at since day one has sucked exponentially more than the last. Also, it’s raining. WTF? It was supposed to be sunny here. But no, you moved to SoCal right in the middle of El Niño, so your apartment hunt is complicated by rain traffic.
  3. 3.
    Bargaining
    It’s time to compromise. You don’t really need hardwood floors. You bargain with yourself on every issue: parking, AC, square footage and location, location, location. And then, you find it! It’s not perfect, but it is a solid seven out of ten and your desire for a permanent address has become all consuming. You turn in the application. You go to Target and buy a new shower curtain. You start unpacking your kitchen in your mind. There’s a slight hiccup with your application.
  4. 4.
    Anger
    WHAT DO I THINK? DO YOU WANT TO PAY $2,000 A MONTH TO LIVE IN A TINY DARK SHITHOLE THAT REEKS OF CAT PISS, HAS NO WINDOWS, A HOT WATER HEATER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN, AND NO STOVE? HUH!? HUHHHH!?!?!?!
  5. 5.
    Acceptance
    Inevitably, you find your new place. Your application gets approved. The manager hands you your keys. You never thought you’d be ecstatic about an apartment with no parking and bad carpet, but as soon as the manager shuts the door, you flop to the floor and discover that making carpet angels is as fun now as it was when you were eight. And then the sun comes out, because this is beautiful, sunny L.A. and, as you brag to your friends back home over the phone, the weather here is always great.