Stages of writing overdue clinical notes

Or generally procrastinating.
  1. 1.
    Read all the lists.
    Like them, make comments and be generally super friendly.
  2. 2.
    Clean your fridge.
    Real well, because you haven't really cleaned it in months.
  3. 3.
    Clean behind the stove.
    Painstakingly move the stove out, vacuum and mop that Bermuda triangle of kitchen dirt. Get really detailed about it. This might take a while.
  4. 4.
    Reorganize a couple of messy kitchen cabinets and / or drawers.
    This will take a while too, but it is extra fun and adventurous because you should be writing clinical notes.
  5. 5.
    Keep commenting on stuff on social media all day long.
    Until someone is unsuspecting enough to get into a conversation with you for a while. Do not let them go easily. Milk that interaction until the last drop.
  6. 6.
    Prepare and eat a meal.
    Prep all the food for the days ahead too.
  7. 7.
    Go to the farmer's market.
    Be extra-friendly and make it last 20 min more than usual.
  8. 8.
    Respond all your pending e-mails and messages from the last 20 years.
    Feel and give the kind of openness and emotional availability that only comes from hardcore procrastination.
  9. 9.
    Literally run out of things to do.
    Still refuse to do the very thing that would end this sweet pain.
  10. 10.
    Write a list about it.
    In hopes that it will make you sit the fuck down and do this thing that will take an hour at most but that for some reason you are avoiding like the plague.
  11. 11.
    Post-edit: I finished them! I'm free!
    The relief! Lists are, indeed, magical 🦄