THINGS I AM OFFICIALLY TOO OLD FOR
- •Staying up past 1 am.Seriously. I can't do this anymore without getting screwed up, discombobulated, and/or profoundly cranky the next morning.
- •Skipping dinner to drop a couple of pounds.I did this in high school and in the early years of college whenever I thought my pants were getting too tight. I simply shaved calories off to drop a pound or two - and surprise!! I would always gain it all back. Not only do I now find this practice tragic and unhealthy, I'm also more or less incapable of it; I just can't make myself believe that starving myself is a better alternative than being a little heavier than I'd like while I take responsible & self-preservational all steps to change.
- •Toxic relationships.Who has time for this??? Nobody. Friendships and partnerships should be loving and supportive. Period.
- •Soda.Just nah.
- •Playing dumb to make other people feel more comfortable around me.Talking in a palatable little-girl voice and stripping down my thoughts to match the perceived limits of any given social situation so longer suits me at the age of 22.
- •Fast fashion clothing.H&M, Target, Forever 21... We are breaking up. You used to make me feel like I "belonged." Now you make me look grotesque and puffy and uneasy, like a sow in pigtails.
- •Pointless blockbuster movies.Don't care, never cared, Deadpool looks fucking awful, there I said it