WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS

  1. Cats don't need fancy material things to be happy. My cats will literally play with garbage and couldn't care less how cool the new iPhone is.
  2. Cats don't become teenage monsters that hate you and wish they were dead.
  3. Cats will never judge you. You can literally do anything in front of them, and they are totally cool with it.
  4. Cats don't scream in your ear while you hold them. Like, ever.
  5. Cats will never get too old to sit in your lap.
  6. Cats will never make you feel like you aren't as good as their friend's parents: "Well, Muffin's parents give him FRESH tuna, not that cheap canned stuff."
  7. You never have to worry about the decisions your cats will make as they get older. Cats very rarely have to make decisions, and when they do it is usually something fairly inconsequential like whether or not they should try to sneak a bite of my food when I'm not looking.
  8. No one ever gets sick of seeing cat photos. It's impossible. They literally have full websites just for looking at cats. On the other hand, there is a limit for baby photos. I don't care about your kid's first poop in the toilet, nor do I think it warrants an entire photo album on Facebook!