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  1. Buy 1.5 billion dollar slices.
Some people garden or write poetry. I collect pictures of celebrity chef Guy Fieri. Here are some of my faves...
  1. This is a fine hobby.
  2. Collecting photos of Guy Fieri is one of my driving life interests.
  3. This is a splendid way to pass the time.
5 more...
  1. Making love to my wife
Life is hard. Let's figure out if Donald Trump farted today...
  1. Yes.
  2. No.
  3. Who cares?
2 more...
  1. I didn't sleep well.
  2. Worrying about Gawker's shift to all-politics.
  3. Cancer. Is it cancer?
5 more...
An unconscionable crime happened that night...
  1. Still mad!
It's that time of year again! Feast on this frightening assemblage of ghoulish terror.
  1. Skeleton
  2. Bat
  3. Vampire
7 more...
  1. "God is a lie."
  2. "Did I leave the oven on?"
  3. The entire Aristocrats joke.
5 more...
  1. Come on. Look at that face. It's positively turtle-ish.
  2. I was bored and his face DOES look a bit tortoise-like.
  3. Life is a meaningless void in which we are unceremoniously dumped into and then, just as quickly, snatched away from. Also, his face looks like a damned turtle.
3 more...