Requested by jessica

HOGWARTS WITCHES, RANKED

@jessicaz this request has taken me forever I'm so sorry. This list excludes anyone not studying or teaching at Hogwarts (i.e. Molly Weasley, Fleur Delacour, Bellatrix Lestrange) because that's not what you asked for so 🐍
  1. 24.
    Dolores Umbridge
    Worst
  2. 23.
    Ramilda Vane
    Tried to seduce Harry with love potion. Bitch.
  3. 22.
    Lavender Brown
    Super annoying.
  4. 21.
    Marietta Edgecombe
    Who even are you? Tbh found the name on the Harry Potter wikia and I don't know. Still prob better than Lavender though
  5. 20.
    Helena Ravenclaw/Grey Lady
    Ravenclaw house's whiny ass ghost. Pass.
  6. 19.
    Penelope Clearwater
    Minus for being Percy's gf
  7. 18.
    Charity Burbage
    Muggle studies professor. Ain't nobody got time for that.
  8. 17.
    Hannah Abbott
    Forgettable
  9. 16.
    Susan Bones
    Forgettable. Points for last name Bones though
  10. 15.
    Pansy Parkinson
    Points for Slytherin but otherwise she's a bit of a pansy
  11. 14.
    Angelina Johnson
    Points for playing Quidditch. That's about it
  12. 13.
    Katie Bell
    Poor thing
  13. 12.
    Professor Trelawny
    She had like 2 good moments in 7 books. 2.
  14. 11.
    Millicent Bulstrode
    Points for having a cat and points for 🐍
  15. 10.
    Padma Patil
    Ravenclaw. Forgettable other than she's a twin
  16. 9.
    Pavarti Patil
    Points over her sister for going to the Yule ball with a tri-wizard champion
  17. 8.
    Professor Sprout
    Minus for being described as "dumpy". Points for saving all those kids with the mandrakes though
  18. 7.
    Cho Chang
    Points for swinging two tri-wizard tournament competitors
  19. 6.
    Rolanda Hooch
    Broom flying teacher and Quidditch referee I mean pretty cool job IMO
  20. 5.
    Madame Pomfrey
    Saves students on the reg. Never asks questions. A little judgy but otherwise a top notch witch
  21. 4.
    Ginny Weasley
    Kinda dumb re: the diary but redeems herself by being badass in DA and later on.
  22. 3.
    Hermione Granger
    Obvi top 5. Obvi. Without this witch Harry would have died book 1.
  23. 2.
    Luna Lovegood
    One of my favorite witches of all time. Best Ravenclaw there is. Doesn't take anyone's shit ever and doesn't let gossip or drama run her life. I'm just as sane as she is. 🙃
  24. 1.
    Minerva McGonagall
    It was a toss up between her and Luna as #1. McGonagall is just so badass and smart and deals with everyone's shit. Plus her animagus is a cat. Top witch.