Inspired by @LevNovak
  1. Chris Bagel
    Pretty sure that's not his real last name
  2. Comcast cable
    I have RCN....
  3. Donovan the Cutiest Kid
    Yes, that is how it is spelled
  4. Mike Canada
    Also likely not a real last name
  5. Nate Dogggydog
    3 G's for extra dogginess
  6. Patrick Starfish
    ....just why
  7. Ted ?sticke
    The question mark says it all
  8. The Universe
    For those extra existential nights?
  9. Unty<3