Things I Would Tweet if My Family Wasn't Following me

*family, friends, non-internet strangers who I'd rather not see/judge me. Congrats essentially defunct listapp, you're now outlet for nonsense that no one listens to or cares about.
  1. โ€ข
    If your night doesn't end with your male coworker being propositioned for sex by a gay guy in a cat shirt outside the strip club, you're doing work trips wrong
    #LA
  2. โ€ข
    When you wanna stalk your ex but too petty to give him the satisfaction
  3. โ€ข
    What does it mean when you're tired literally all the time and constantly feel on the verge of tears? (You know, other than "find a new therapist Leah")
  4. โ€ข
    I didn't realize it was possible for a pair of leggings to make you look both skinny AND fat at the same time.
    This "tweet" coming at you after I tried to take a yoga flow video for insta...which will not see the light of day
  5. โ€ข
    Do ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป not ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป try ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿปto ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿปshortpay๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿปan๐Ÿ‘๐ŸปACCOUNTANT ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป