THINGS THAT HAPPENED AT MY FAMILY SEDER

  1. My auntie Phyllis showed up wearing a seder plate pin
  2. Instead of reading from the Haggadah we played a very competitive game of Passover Trivia lead by my 11 year old niece
  3. My team won! We were not graceful winners and my daughter screamed "IN YOUR FACE" at my little cousin and my cousin started to cry
  4. We learned that Moses had a speech impediment which in all my years I never knew.
  5. Over dinner we discussed Going Clear for an hour. It was awesome.
  6. My daughter decorated the cake for dessert and put Moses in the basket on the Nile River
  7. My 16 year old boy cousin has started "lifting" and he has gotten weirdly buff and it made me feel super uncomfortable but what a bod on the boy!
  8. The kids found the afikomen and my dad gave them all $100 which is bullshit because when I was a kid I got $2 and it confirmed for me that my dad loves his grandkids more than me.
  9. Uncle Phil brought his own special pillow to sit on and I personally observed him eat 6 large pieces of Gefilte fish.
  10. Next year in Jerusalem! 💃💃💃