MY NAME IS LESLIE GROSSMAN AND THESE ARE MY TRIGGER FOODS
- •Chocolate covered pretzelsThese have been my ride or die #1 with a bullet choice since I was a small chubby child. First of all I am an active Chocoholic. I am not in recovery. I am currently using. Second, I love salt. Chocolate and salt AND crunchy together? YES PLEASE.
- •ChallahI am a challa- coholic I was raised kosher and there was always a homemade challah around. You have never seen anyone put a beatdown on any food like me devouring a challah. I always feel better when there is a challah in the house.
- •CokeDevil in a red dress. Sweet sweet bubbly salvation. Goddamn I love a Coke. It will cure whatever ails you. A little nauseous? 3 sips of a Coke and you are good to go. A little tired? Half a Coke and it's back to business. Can it be used as a pesticide? Yes. Yes it can. Is it DELICIOUS? Hell yes. I prefer it from the gun, preferably from McDonalds. Those fuckers have perfected the fountain Coke.
- •TempuraJapanese food is my most favorite. I am all cool and stay pretty healthy if I stay away from this perfect fried plate of nirvana. But once I start on that piece of scrimps tempura, I will murder that plate. I will have no memory of what even happened. I will even eat that sad piece of carrot because it is coated in tempura. Honestly if you fried a piece of wood I would eat it. But tempura just GETS ME.
- •Martinelli's sparkling apple juiceIn high school I was getting ready to go to a party. My dad asked to speak with me. He sat me down and in the most dead serious way pulled out a bottle of Martinelli's and told me I could pour this in a cup and everyone would just think it was beer. Also I wasn't allowed any soda as a kid but we broke out the Martinelli's for every celebration. When I drink this I am 9 dancing with my grandpa and all is right with the world.
- •Lays BBQ potato chipsThese chips own me. Straight up. I am officially not allowed to have them. I eat them until it stops being fun and my mouth burns. They are sweet and tangy and good lord they are a true blessing that Lay's has brought to this world.
- •RiceAny kind. A pilaf, a jasmine, a sushi rice, a sticky rice (mmmmmmmm sticky rice) I love ALL OF IT. I could eat 10 bowls of rice I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU KOOKY GRAINS OF DELICIOUSNESS
- •Fried chickenHey fried chicken, why ya taste so good? You are crunchy and greasy and fall off the bone with your sexy ways. Sometimes I eat you with a waffle which is nice, but mostly I like you solo. Just you and me. Face to face. A couple of silver spoons.
- •OreosA miracle. A very important cookie. Maybe number 2 behind the classic chocolate chip. I can mow through 2 rows if I don't stop myself. Always eat the stuffing first and cookie part second. I do not dump it in milk because what am I some kind of health nut?
- •Peanut M+M'sIt would be super cool if peanut M+M's could release their death grip over me. I am officially not allowed to have these. When I see them on the candy rack it is like a junkie who is sober seeing their old drug dealer. NOT TODAY PEANUT M+M'S, NOT TODAY