GENIUS* THINGS MY FRIEND JACOB INVENTED
My friend Jacob is a genius and a mess. He doesn't do any form of social media or else I'd put him on
- •Going as Santa Claus for HalloweenUnsettling and strange but also fair game on paper. The rare costume that's obvious in retrospect but have you ~ever~ seen this? It's genius. You can even use the costume in December!
- •Putting your coat in the oven at crowded house partiesA bad idea but kind of an awesome. When everyone's digging through a pile he opens the oven like a fucking magician to pull it out
- •Insulting people's earsLet me explain. A football guy tried to fight me (long story) outside a party and Jacob was the only friend to step in by roundly and specifically insulting his ears. He completely changed the narrative and taught me a lesson- never engage an enemy at their strength. Instead, insult their ears.
- •Throwing exactly one party...and making it count. He threw only one party, on Christmas, and made it legendary. We just remembered how dope it was and he earned a rep with minimal work. He made a permanent memory where other parties are forgotten
- •Dressing well"The better you dress, the longer it takes people to realize you're drunk"