HARPERS INDEX: LEV EDITION

  1. Number of drinks I can have, no problem: 4.5
  2. Number of drinks I can have, still worth it: 6
  3. Times I have officially lost a rap battle: 3
  4. Number of those losses I contest: 2
  5. Numbers of Sarah's and Rachel's in my phone, combined: 20(!)
  6. Number of "Mohammed's," the worlds most common name: 1
  7. Times I was told I "look like that guy from The Office" tonight: 2
  8. Number of times they didn't believe me despite they being the ones who brought this up: 2
  9. Ranking as a person, on a scale from 1-10, factoring soul, spirit and worth: 8