ITINERARY OF A DESPERATELY HUNGOVER DAY

  1. 1.
    Tossing and turning
  2. 2.
    Remaining flopped on the mattress
  3. 3.
    Groans
  4. 4.
    Intermediate groans
  5. 5.
    Praying for Gatorade
  6. 6.
    Making due with Hawiian punch
  7. 7.
    Swearing off hard alcohol, except for fancy or familial non-chugging circumstances
  8. 8.
    Remembering happily how well I rapped
  9. 9.
    Wondering if I really rapped as well as I thought
  10. 10.
    Intermediate dry heaves
  11. 11.
    Television
  12. 12.
    Naps
  13. 13.
    That slow, purposeful stride to health that feels amazing