SILLY THINGS I HAVE HAD NIGHTMARES ABOUT

You dream dozens of times a night; they can't all be winners
  1. Students eating cake on the floor of the bathroom
    It's not sanitary!
  2. A lot of worms outside
    My shoes will get weird and messy!
  3. My granola bar has nuts in it
    I am not allergic to nuts. I think even in the dream I was like "huh?" But my dream self was like (sleepy voice) noooooooo
  4. I slept through my exam and got a C
    Why would I get a C for sleeping through an exam? That is so generous and chill!
  5. Students giving sassy retorts
    Uh whatever
  6. That Time magazine hemmed and hawwed in a profile about me and I felt they didn't really like me that much
    Narcissistic, especially since I dreamt this as a teenager