THINGS I'M A SUCKER FOR

  1. Fancy sauces
    Artisan ketchup? Weird chocolate mustard? Please! Gourmet sauce is so good and such a low investment on being weird. Always a fan.
  2. Not-quite-meta asides in shows
    Too meta is groan inducing, but weird surreal Adult Swim stuff is always so funny to me (especially when stoned)
  3. A joint.
    An honest to god joint? No way!
  4. Platonic female friends
    Every female friend I've made has made me a better person, both morally and actualized and it's dope
  5. A sense of aesthetic
    I have a great knack for appreciating and absolutely no skill at putting it together. Clean houses, beautiful furniture, good design; I adore it and see it as actual magic from afar
  6. Drake
    Sold
  7. Ordering things for the table
  8. Places you can get lunch alone at 2:11 PM and feel great about it
    A hip coffee shop with great food that I can write at? Or a delicious Indian buffet with lunch hour specials so boggling it's crazy ~not~ to go? Sold
  9. Second dates
    Assuming you don't have second ones if you don't want to, it's basically all the excitement of an early date without the risk of lameness
  10. People who like to listen to me talk
    It combines my two favorite things: attention and bringing happiness in the world. I'd settle for attention but when they're stoked about it? Amazing