THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO BE SAID ABOUT ME AT MY FUNERAL
- 1."Lev, the inspiration for the 😎 emoji, died as he lived; being amazing and stunting. He is survived by nobody, as he was the last human alive, and all of us are now party-ghosts, Lev very much included."
- 2."While he was often insecure, many of us envied him, especially me, Jay-Z, who is the one currently speaking."
- 3."Though he disappeared under mysterious circumstances at the escape-factory, let's just assume he's dead and not look into it."
- 4."Per his will, Lev will be buried with the haters, despite their frantic pleas to the contrary."
- 5."We will now conclude the service with a tasteful founding of a cult in his memory, a cool one, with robes and mythos and all that."
- 6."I will now read his most recent 25,000 tweets"
- 7."Here to say a few words is Ludacris on ecstasy"
- 8."A donation in Lev's memory is being made to the National Punchline Foundation"
- 9."He was white?!!?!"