THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO BE SAID ABOUT ME AT MY FUNERAL

  1. 1.
    "Lev, the inspiration for the 😎 emoji, died as he lived; being amazing and stunting. He is survived by nobody, as he was the last human alive, and all of us are now party-ghosts, Lev very much included."
  2. 2.
    "While he was often insecure, many of us envied him, especially me, Jay-Z, who is the one currently speaking."
  3. 3.
    "Though he disappeared under mysterious circumstances at the escape-factory, let's just assume he's dead and not look into it."
  4. 4.
    "Per his will, Lev will be buried with the haters, despite their frantic pleas to the contrary."
  5. 5.
    "We will now conclude the service with a tasteful founding of a cult in his memory, a cool one, with robes and mythos and all that."
  6. 6.
    "I will now read his most recent 25,000 tweets"
    Suggested by   @jesseno
  7. 7.
    "Here to say a few words is Ludacris on ecstasy"
    Suggested by   @jesseno
  8. 8.
    "A donation in Lev's memory is being made to the National Punchline Foundation"
    Suggested by   @jesseno
  9. 9.
    "He was white?!!?!"
    Suggested by   @jesseno