THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO BE SAID ABOUT ME AT MY FUNERAL
- •"Lev, the inspiration for the 😎 emoji, died as he lived; being amazing and stunting. He is survived by nobody, as he was the last human alive, and all of us are now party-ghosts, Lev very much included."
- •"While he was often insecure, many of us envied him, especially me, Jay-Z, who is the one currently speaking."
- •"Though he disappeared under mysterious circumstances at the escape-factory, let's just assume he's dead and not look into it."
- •"Per his will, Lev will be buried with the haters, despite their frantic pleas to the contrary."
- •"We will now conclude the service with a tasteful founding of a cult in his memory, a cool one, with robes and mythos and all that."
- •"I will now read his most recent 25,000 tweets"
- •"Here to say a few words is Ludacris on ecstasy"
- •"A donation in Lev's memory is being made to the National Punchline Foundation"
- •"He was white?!!?!"