THINGS THAT I IMAGINE WOULD BE EXHAUSTING

  1. An M.Night directed porno
  2. Sitting next to Neil DeGrasse Tyson during the next Star Wars movie
  3. Being Kanye West's therapist
  4. Having your ex be a critically acclaimed sex journalist and being in the lose-lose of it being thinly veiled about you or someone else
  5. Having a "friend for life" from third grade keep hitting you up for favors and reverently citing your insane promises to each other
  6. Being the lone fact-checked for the Sci-Fy channel and having to be like "uh, giant spiders couldn't have flamethrowers" knowing they're just going to ignore you
  7. Being a platonic female friend of Drake's