1. I ran a bootleg fraternity at my High school where freshmen did what I said.
    They were called Freshie'mon and I had about 35 members at our peak. There were loyalty oaths. I got them donuts.
  2. Once a student tried to pay me $100 for more M&ms
    He was ten, at the exclusive Park Ave Synagogue school. He kept the bill in his phone case.
  3. When I was 17 I threw up at Aaron Krupp's house, blamed it on the dog, and then they took it to the vet.
    I only found that out later. Turns out the dog was old and sick and I felt really bad. But she was fine and they were relieved so I never came clean
  4. When @bjnovak and Jesse took me to Vegas, my friend Sam (who speaks Chinese) made friends with some Triads
    Sam, who was very drunk, only spoke Chinese except for laughing and saying "these are very scary dudes." We hung for a minute and then I dragged us away when they got less amused.