TOP THINGS MY KIDS (AGE 5ISH) HAVE SAID

  1. Lev, I saw the mystical fire. I'm hungry. Are you a pillow?
  2. (Re: Legos) This is my grandma.
  3. I have to go to college to learn the best way to tackle people
  4. (Re: texting) hide your phone before I eat it!
  5. (Re: nothing) you're smoking a pipe with pumpkin girl!
  6. You're afraid of bugs and my barf is snakes!
  7. "Lev can we play the game where I trick you" (realizes he spoiled it) "please be tricked though."
  8. Are witches real? I know they're not, but tell me so I don't get scared."
  9. Can we be zombies? Can I be the zombie queen? (Whispering) tell them I'm the zombie queen.
  10. One kid routinely refers to jail as Legoland during a jail game kids play and it's super weird and funny.
  11. "I'm five and six-quarters."