- •That everyone else's success is just good luck
- •That everyone cooler than me is secretly a poser
- •That everyone more normal than me is boring
- •That out of all the people in the world I am part of a very small group who is correct in my opinions
- •That if only I were X I'd do a better job at Y, such as being the president of the United States.
- •That I would survive a zombie apocalypse despite not being able to deal when Thai food is delivered too slow
- •That every publication that rejected me is just a stupid clique of dummies
- •That I am both the best and worst person of all time within the span of maybe eight hours