WHAT I ALMOST WROTE FOR MY OWN RECOMMENDATION LETTER MY SUPERVISOR OUTSOURCED MADE ME WRITE

My supervisor told me to just write my own. Here's what I almost wrote.
  1. "Lev is an engaging, exploitable employee always eager to accept responsibilities way out of his pay-scale as exhibited here."
  2. "Lev is the only good thing about this abandoned warehouse of incompetent grumpy idiots."
  3. "Lev is always down for a challenge, such as teaching four age groups in one class like it's fucking Puritan times because we're too cheap and idiotic to have even one fucking substitute teacher, not one."
  4. "Lev's creative, free-flowing approach works well in this school which is so incompetent as to be borderline illegal."
  5. "Lev has taken on capacities befitting of a program director because he motherfucking has to."