How To Stay Up Too Late

  1. 1.
    Be Unrealistic
    I don't need more than six or... three hours of sleep to function at work tommorrow. My body is a well oiled machine! I am powerful! I need no such thing as sleep!
  2. 2.
    Find Something Funner Than Sleep
    Webtoons, ten season Netflix TV series, and cat videos are important enough to sacrifice a little rest, even though you've been through this vicious cycle before and know you will hate yourself when your six o'clock alarm goes off. You'll zombie your way through your day, then do it again because you're a spaz who feels more alive at midnight than two in the afternoon.
  3. 3.
    Justify, Justify, Justify.
    I can get dressed in ten minutes, so technically I can just sleep in a little with no losses... Also if I cut my sleep period down to less than five hours, I won't even enter REM, so waking up will be E-Z. Its science.
  4. 4.
    Ignore The Burning Sensation In Your Bloodshot, Sleep Deprived Eyes
    You are stronger than that.
  5. 5.
    Catch Your Second Wind
    Around two o'clock your brain and body just go into autopilot and you become a sleepless, impowered superhuman with enough energy to short out Time Square. (This can be induced via Red Bull.)
  6. 6.
    Give Into Your Destructive Choices
    Just do it. Then pass out at three in the morning after watch all six seasons of an subbed anime in one sitting, your headphones wrapped around your neck like a noose and wallowing in your fuzzy blankets and regrets.