Everyone starts somewhere
  1. The Beast - "Beauty and the Beast"
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    My lady parts first felt a stirring when the beast went from a soaking-wet, bleeding mythical monster in tights pants to a soaking-wet chiseled Frenchman in almost no pants. Way to conquer those inner demons you sexy beast. (Unfortunately, this terrible example of a relationship may have led to me announcing "There's Nothing Sexier Than Baggage" to @ScottySin at a recent party. I feel this bodes not well for my future)
  2. Devon Sawa - "Casper"
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    I've since dated three men who resemble this human incarnation of an underage ghost boy.
  3. Sean Connery - Darby O'Gill and the Little People
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    He sings. There are leprechauns. I'm Irish.
  4. Erotic Fish - "Fantasia, Arabian Dance"
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    One day I'll find someone who found this as confusingly stirring as I did. Have never owned fish. Coincidence?
  5. Gilbert Fucking Blythe - "Anne of Greene Gables"
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    Screw Anne. Drop that ginger and get with a fake blonde, man. I'll ignore you half the time too.
  6. Eric - "The Little Mermaid"
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    If I'm silent he will come