What I Learned About Love Last Night. Kind Of.

From Alain de Botton's lecture at Cooper Union and subsequent trip down the YouTube rabbit hole. (Please don't take my word for anything here. Instead check out his video "How Romanticism Ruined Love" among others )
  1. Accept that everyone's got the crazy.
  2. "Romantic love is a dangerous illusion"
  3. Crushes are useless
  4. "True love is just as much about sympathy for the vulnerabilities as it is admiration for the strengths"
  5. There are times when there are two paths: honesty or love.
  6. The Greeks believed you can only truly "love" perfection. So to live in the essence of love, couples would work to help each other become better people, being both critical and supportive, teacher and student.
  7. People who sulk are the WORST. It is not helpful.
  8. Eroticism is about "mutual nakedness of the mind made possible through trust"
  9. Marriage has survived even for atheists because there are those who need to chain themselves to their partner as a selfless act - understanding their weakness and temptation to run when faced with conflict, the chain forces them to stay and work through problems.
  10. Loneliness is inevitable. If you are in a relationship and only 40% lonely, you're doing pretty well
  11. There is so much love to be had and be shared
  12. "Hugging is of deep and poignant significance"