Going Back

  1. My best friend telling me a story in my car. The kind of sunlight at 7 pm that starts to feel cold.
  2. This Is Agony
    My bed after hours of tears and gathering up old memories to give back to the person who gave them to me because I did not want them anymore.
  3. A picture I found of myself on my friend's wall that I didn't know existed; it was taken when someone didn't think there was film in the Polaroid camera. She saved the moment and stuck it on her wall with all her other favorite moments.
  4. From the floor in a piano room at school, I took this laying down, listening to his voice and fingers on the keys. His shoes looked like a still from an indie film. It was the last picture I ever took of him.
  5. From his bed, in his room, holding his plant. "Stand there," he said, and I laughed at the pickiness of the background. I looked down at his little aloe plant, still laughing, and I swear I could hear his grin flash with the click of his camera.
  6. This was taken the day I started falling in love. With everything, really. This was the day it all started, in the woods, facing the mountains; the air was a comforting kind of cold, the kind that doesn't rattle you, just wraps itself around you. That day was old guitar strings and cliffs and the start of friendships I thought I would never lose.
  7. A hill above San Francisco Bay, before everything. It was the end of summer, it was the September kind of warmth that carries all the leftover feelings of August and all the anticipation of October. I was about to start a story I never knew I could be a character in.