Cheeses, ranked by fuckability

Inspired by @HisDudeness Doritos flavors, ranked by fuckability except I dont eat Doritos and also I have a draft named listers as cheese but only got 4 people in it so now this list makes my draft weird
  1. 11.
    Roquefort
    I know some people like to lay on someone strong but I'm not into that
  2. 10.
    Camembert
    Look I don't wanna slut shame you but feels like everybody did you already and I'm not into that
  3. 9.
    Roblochon
    You comfy teddy bear, you're making me feel good about myself
  4. 8.
    Raclette
    Cause I love when your smell will stay on me after you leave
  5. 7.
    Gruyere or Emmental
    Yes to both and why not at the same time : basically you are the same and yet are so different, a bit like the Cadys brothers. Well except that one of you has tons of holes, a bit like the Cadys brother. (Hello @chriscady @stevecady )
  6. 6.
    Etorki
    My favorite thing from pays basque (south west of France) after Bixente Lizarazu ; actually I guess I want you both
  7. 5.
    Feta
    You're a summerlove : hot and intense for 3 months but it's not serious and we both know there's no commitment here, but will be happy to see you again next summer
  8. 4.
    Comté
    So strong and yet so soft you know how to please me
  9. 3.
    Parmesan
    You're a bit too dry sometimes but you also add so much in boring lives. You're like the cherry on the cake equivalent of cheese (where the cake is spaghetti).
  10. 2.
    Burrata
    At first I fucked a lot with your famous cousin buffala and you know.. you were the indie fat cousin. but once you go burrata you never come back, so creamy, so many different texture, I love at your most liquid but I know some others differ on that.
  11. 1.
    Goat cheese
    Whenever you want, wherever you want, whatever you want really. I'm a slaaave for you. Any of you really.