You're enjoying your day, everything's going your way then along comes...
  1. Its official, I can't have children
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  2. They never did catch that anthrax guy
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  3. It's the number one killer of domestic cats.
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    (Feline AIDS)
  4. Ever since they found Mad Cow Disease in the U.S., I'm not taking any chances. It can live in your body for years, before it ravages your brain.
  5. Oh hey, Pluto it must be fun to work here.. although, the biggest drawback to working in a theme park is that you must live in constant fear of deadly terrorist attacks.
  6. Did you factor in the loss of life at the hands of the African diamond industry?
  7. Lather up the sunscreen. I had a mole looked at recently, and the doctor told me that, due tothe extent of its irregular borders, I'm flirting with a melanoma.
  8. I'll tell you what the Pilgrims did bring: smallpox. It killed scores of Native Americans, ravaging their population.
  9. Do you guys care about that train explosion in North Korea?