Don't tell my Jewish mum

  1. That I left home without a sweater
  2. That I ate a pizza and no vegetables unless the aubergine on the pizza counts
  3. That I did see her Facebook; I'm just never adding her.
  4. That I make fun of her on the Internet. A lot. It's even my brand.
  5. That I met 10 strangers from the Internet, at the same time, in a foreign country.