This metaphor was once said to me by a brilliant psychiatrist (and friend) and it really spoke to me and 10 years later I still use it with friends that need this reminder
  1. So imagine : you're a cake
  2. You need to make sure the batter is well made
  3. Then well cooked
  4. You can ice it
  5. AND THEN add the cherry on top of it
  6. It's makes no sense to put a cherry on a wrecked cake that doesn't have any foundations ; the cherry won't make it "pretty"
  7. That metaphor is quite simple but very true
  8. Also, she didn't tell me that back then but I will add my analysis :
  9. You also have to admit when your cake is ready, you can pimp it all you want but at some point you should know it's good to go/eat. AND that you're allowed to add that cherry on it, finally.
  10. Basically. You're a cake.
  11. Take care of yourcake first