Ways I've already been a failure many many many times today

Hi all that before 3 pm
  1. Realized there is/was major error on my resume
  2. Listed about it and deleted the list cause the comments made it real and *I prefer denial*
  3. Broke a Christmas present I got Wednesday when placing it on my shelf
  4. Being out of glue to repair it
  5. Receive weeks later /too late a birthday present I ordered
  6. Realized the final result isn't great anyway
  7. Sent a very funny snap to a few people about a song call "lots of latkes" only to be told that there was no sound on it
  8. I overcooked my squash and now diner is ruined
  9. I wanted to eat healthy tonight but this is my dessert
  10. Realizing 7 hours later that the tittle of this list was grammatically incorrect in English
  11. Could have discreetly move the "today" at its right place but put it in this list instead
  12. Pheeeewwww right before midnight I finally have ONE VICTORY TODAY !!! texting with @jessicaz I made a pun about her cup (coffee) and cups (bra) and I'm always so proud of doing puns in English.. but doing one related to boobs is my masterpiece
    Living my best fez life
  13. My candles stayed slightly lighted after I blew on it; lots of smoke, I took it of the room to turn it down properly and stop that smoking situation. But now my bedroom smells like an after birthday party if someone blew on infinite candles; can't open the windows as it's crazy cold. I'm screwed
  14. The smoke smell was too much so here I am few minutes after midnight opening my blinds and windows wide open; and trying to make air by opening and closing the door really fast. The smell is a bit better but not totally gonna and I'm cold and my head hurts
  15. I changed of side of the bed (perks of sleeping alone yay!) smell stills here; it's on my face is it ?!