MY DARKEST MOMENT ⚫️

Inspired by @ListPrompts
  1. My heart broke so hard that it felt as if it had literally been ripped from my chest.
  2. I invested my whole life in that man
  3. And on the day I was more depressed than I had been in my whole life
  4. He went to visit a junkie prostitute in hospital, because she had cut her leg up kicking in a shop window
  5. He came home and told me he'd been sleeping with her
  6. For a long time
  7. He said she was clean and he was helping her
  8. All the time I'd been dying inside because my brain chemicals wouldn't let me be happy
  9. I guess he couldn't fix me so he's moved on
  10. He told me I had to move out
  11. Of the home he bought 'for our future'
  12. He went out and got drunk and took cocaine
  13. Again
  14. I just wanted to sleep
  15. But my heart was desperately trying to implode
  16. My chest cavity gnawed
  17. My head hurt
  18. I couldn't stop the tears
  19. The panic
  20. The desperation
  21. Then the tears stopped
  22. I called a helpline for depressed people
  23. I told them I had nothing left and I wanted to dir
  24. They ask if I had tried to kill myself
  25. I hadn't. But I told them I would.
  26. They told me to calm dien
  27. To get some sleep
  28. Maybe to speak to my friends
  29. I didn't feel like I had a friend in the world who could understand
  30. So I hung up
  31. I sat in bed
  32. Awake all night
  33. Staring at the wall
  34. When the sun came up I didn't want the dark to end
  35. So I took a sleeping pill
  36. And waited
  37. 15 minutes later, still awake I took another
  38. I'd done that before
  39. And then I took anothee
  40. And another
  41. And half an hour later I'd taken 20
  42. I watched the ceiling
  43. Then all of a sudden I thought of my mother
  44. And I realised that the sleep I was craving might be death after all
  45. She lost my big sister during labour
  46. I wanted my sister
  47. Then something snapped in me
  48. Like a lighting bolt and panic
  49. Horrific violent panic
  50. I ran to the bathroom
  51. And crashed to the floor
  52. I could barely see
  53. Enough to put 999 into my phone
  54. But I made it