I CAN'T SLEEP

  1. I took my Xanax too late
    Must take it at 9 pm if I want to sleep by 11 - I have developed a tolerance. I refuse to increase my dosage. I don't have time to develop some luxurious addiction.
  2. Some drunk jag is yelling on the sidewalk
    I can hear him three stories up
  3. I don't want tomorrow to happen
    I have to run errand on errand and work and clean old apartment and replace a tire with money I do not have
  4. I don't want PMS nightmares
    My husband told me he found my dog and she is still alive! I hold her, crying tears of joy, then rapidly realize something is wrong. She is getting sick again. Then she morphs into a balless Dick. Beatrix has disappeared and I am now cradling a dick in my arms. IT IS LOOKING AT ME. GAH! WAKEUPWAKEUP.
  5. I need pie
    PMS says there will only be a 15 minute window between me ordering the pie and said pie piece entering my face. It will not cause me to delve into further insomnia and it will also not Count as a dietary fail, because it's just PMS snacks. PMS IS SUCH A LIAR.
  6. My husband keeps staring at me
    I think he wants sex. Have at it, Buddy. It's your funeral.
  7. LIST UPDATE:
    I just got a big piece of cheese cake. Pie need has been satisfied.