These are my go-to responses.
  1. "Did you really just ask me that?
    Wow! How crazy IS it that I now know two people that have shot themselves! Well, you only shot yourself in the foot. At least he shot himself in the head, so he will never have to be subjected to an/another interaction with You." *walk away calmly Sometimes I end with, "You disgustingly rude shitbag" or some variation of that.
  2. "How did my Dad kill himself? (Pt. 1)
    (Insert tone of person telling a tall tale around camp fire) "Ok! Let me tell you the story. It's rly important to remember he sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury for 4 years prior. He had been making a lot of progress, especially since he was in a coma for almost a full month! I'm sure you'll want to hear the coma story later. Anyway, he felt he couldn't be the husband my mom once had, and had stopped taking his Rx. SO, one afternoon, while I was at work, he was trying to help my mom fix the AC,
  3. (Pt. 2)
    and couldn't remember how, bc of his TBI. He got very upset, very quickly. I didn't get all the exciting details from my mom - essentially, he went onto our yard, midday, put a shotgun in his mouth, and blew his brains out into the air. Like meat confetti! Right in front of my mother! It still took him 20 minutes to die. OMG! Did you know when the police return your loved ones things worn at the time of death, they don't clean the blood spatter off?!
  4. (Pt. 3) - Yeah, there are 3 parts, because They asked for it.
    The coma story isn't as entertaining bc a lot of it involves my mom and I just laying in his hospital bed with him, crying on him while machines breathe for him - ugh, and he is just asleep the ENTIRE time. BOOOORING! Amirite?! Thanks for asking, tho, ppl can be so EMPATHETIC and COMPASSIONATE, your approach to my private tragedy is so Unique! Oh, I gotta run, but fuck you 👋🏼" (cheerfully). OR I lightly punch their arm and say, "and you thought The Kardashians was your favorite reality show!"
  5. Yes, that is my very literal, real response.
    I have been asked so many times, I know it just as well, if not better than, the Pledge of Allegiance.
  6. ••NOTE:
    This list was not made for pity, to place myself in the role of "victim" or as some request for "I'm so sorry"s. Please refrain from commenting if you are going to say anything that evokes pity - even if it is well-intended. I created this List to encourage self-awareness and, hopefully, prevent people from asking this grotesque and intrusive question. I have been asked more times than I can count. Please STOP asking people this question. Thank you.💙
  7. I am able to laugh at the horribleness of this entire thing, BTW. If the mood strikes, laughter is not an inappropriate response here.