WHY MY NEW JOB IS KILLING ME BUT ALSO GIVING ME LIFE

  1. I have two phones and have been officially promoted to captain Team Douche
  2. I make my own hours
    But here is the thing: I NEVER STOP NOT STOPPING. Today was 15 hours. A lot of people do it, I suppose, but it's new to me.
  3. My new boss is a wise angel who actually gives a shit about my overall wellbeing
    My anxieties about letting him down are very real
  4. As the worst cook ever I am now responsible for my boss's meals
    Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bedtime snack. It has to correspond with his nutritionist's recommendations. I am responsible for weening him off sugar. LOLSHIT.
  5. My co-worker is one of the coolest girls/women I have ever met.
    We have to down-play how often we work together so our boss's don't think we're dicking around. We have drinks and work at my place several times each week. It's Mad Men all the way.
  6. My throat is wrecked/voice almost gone but it's grand
    Cannot tell if it is from high stress or massive amounts of laughter. THIS JOB HAS IT ALL! pleasegoawaystressiwilldie.
  7. UPDATE:
    I found a new solution that does not require me cooking! If he had it his way, I would be his personal chef... but wow, underpaid. Got him to concede to healthy meal-delivery service. Fingers crossed it works.
  8. UPDATE:
    This man is all smoke and mirrors. He is incredibly rude to me every day and wants me to be his mother, essentially. Been and Exec Assit for enough people to know this is NOT normal. Getting out ASAP