Apparently, everything has been invented and we now have innovations such as...
  1. The Tiddy Bear: creepy bear seatbelt cushion you never knew you always wanted to gently cup your breast
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  2. EZ Cracker: soon hands will be obsolete
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  3. The Uroclub: omfg
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  4. Bootypop: 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭 a bump-it for your booty.
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  5. Fushigi: the gift of gravity defiance and sensory confusion. Free slicked-back, greasy ponytail with purchase.
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  6. The Wearable Towel: should be called Beach Snuggy. Or Sex Shield
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  7. Potty Putter...enough people thought this was a good idea to make it a reality. That is all.
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  8. SilverSonic XL: 90 ft of eavesdropping. Shit-talkers take note.
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  9. PooTrap. Animal humiliation at its most complicated.
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  10. Rejuvenique Facial Toning System: amazon reviews describe burns/scarring.
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  11. The Wunder Boner:
    Suggested by @zkamenetz