My roommate @bookishclaire suggested I post this list. I think she's trying to streamline the stories I inevitably tell her. Unless otherwise noted, these are all opening lines in messages I receive, and they are verbatim (including emojis). Feel free to add your own to this!
  1. Are you my appendix? Because you make me feel funny inside, and I want to take you out.
    This actually gets major props. It's horrifically cheesy, but it made me LOL in a not-wholly-creeped-out way. It also came from someone who I'm pretty sure is still in college, so best of luck to him with the ladies who are, you know, not old enough to have babysat him in highschool.
  2. I love you like a shark loves blood 😍
    Creep factor: high.
  3. I love you, yuppie princess.
  4. 😘
  5. Cool message, we should hang out long have you been in the area
    Aside from a spelling error, at first glance this doesn't seem awful (though not creative). But I got the exact message from the same dude, every two days for a week.
  6. Helloooooo nurse! 😍
    Not a nurse.
  7. Hey this is going to sound random, but you look like a kitten full of love.
    Yes that does sound random.
  8. PSU girl huh? wanna party with me?
    The rest of that message isn't even worth listing.
  9. Let's get tequila!!!
    My favorite so far.
    Suggested by @leiligood
  10. Do you like donuts? Cause my name is Duncan.
    I lied. This one is my favorite so far.
    Suggested by @leiligood
  11. I want to be your Walter White and you be my Skyler.
    I'm guessing he didn't see all of Breaking Bad?
    Suggested by @jenjea
  12. Can I make chilli for your burrito?
    Suggested by @jenjea