1. When I forget to fast forward through the commercials of something I've DVRed
  2. "I'm sorry, but..."
  3. 26.2 bumper stickers
    In fairness maybe if I'd worked my ass off and finished a marathon, when I can barely finish a 5k at the moment, I'd be tempted to get one too. But I think I could resist.
  4. When I forget my headphones so can't listen to music at the office
  5. On the flip side, when someone in public is listening to music so loudly they might as well not be wearing headphones
  6. Hitting every light as it turns red
  7. People who don't properly use a long merge lane and hold the rest of us up behind them
  8. Verbal upticks
  9. When people leave out linking verbs and say things like, "The dishes need washed."
  10. Spilling coffee on myself
  11. When people add a :) to the end of a condescending or just plain rude text message
    See also: back handed compliments said with a smile
  12. Mansplainers
  13. When someone asks if I've read a book from this list BOOKS, RANKED BY MY LEVEL OF GUILT FOR NOT HAVING READ THEM 📚
  14. When I know the pizza is too hot to eat but I take a bite anyway and burn the roof of my mouth so badly a little piece of skin hangs down and I also can't really taste the rest of the pizza