Artful Acts of Laziness

  1. Eating leftovers out of the Tupperware
    Is this microwavable? Guess so.
  2. Making the bed while in it
    Just give it a flip. Give it a flip. A flip. One more. Good enough.
  3. Watching Netflix when you don't want to get up to switch the input to cable
    And vice versa.
  4. Shimmying into tied shoes you didn't bother to untie when you took them off
    Run down the backs to create a simple clog.
  5. Stacking the garbage past the brim of the can like Jenga
    There's still room, just push it down!
  6. Using the fast food bag in your car from yesterday's lunch as the garbage receptacle for today's lunch.
    Gotta keep it tidy.
  7. Wearing mismatched socks
    Pairing socks is a fool's errand
  8. Filling your drawers and cupboards with plastic utensils and paper plates when the dishwasher breaks.
    Not my proudest, admittedly. I'll plant a tree later.
  9. Throwing my laundry in big heaps down the stairs
    Imagine how much more lazy I would be if I fell while carrying it down and broke my legs.
  10. Filling up before trips to Vancouver so I don't have to pump my own gas
    I live in Portland, and honestly I don't know how. This one's not so much laziness as it is fear of humiliation.
  11. Opening the Pokemon Go app while I'm in traffic so I don't have to walk to incubate my eggs
    "Aww man, I already have that one. All that.. driving for nothing."
  12. Using vocal search tools in public or in bed.
    My fiancé hates it.