STRANGE BUT TRUE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME

I'm a magnet for the weird.
  1. Found a strange key that didn't belong to me in my pocket after a concert - my FRONT jeans pocket.
  2. Voicemail left for me at work: "Hey! I caught a fish! I think it's a bream!" Didn't leave a name or anything else.
  3. Lost my cell phone -- in my umbrella.
  4. Accidentally stuck said umbrella up my nose.
  5. Caught my hair on fire at a wedding reception.
  6. A chipmunk brought me a piece of popcorn. A real, live Canadian chipmunk.
  7. A random man on the street grabbed my hands, started crying, and asked why I left him and our kids.
  8. I worked at restaurant for two whole hours - and they suggested I never come back.