REASONS WHY WEBSTER IS THE SLOBBERIEST

  1. 1.
    His teeth are made of calcified drool.
  2. 2.
    He salivates at the sight of his owner (or any female with brown hair that could possibly be his owner).
  3. 3.
    While standing, his tongue reaches the floor.
  4. 4.
    When thirsty, he can drink his excess saliva.
  5. 5.
    He is always drooling.