THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN MEETING YOUR FAVORITE PORN STAR

Asa Akira at Sapphire NYC, Feb 5.
  1. 1.
    DON'T PRETEND YOU JUST HAPPENED TO BE THERE BY CHANCE, especially when you have been lining up with other 20 excited fans for at least half an hour and she totally saw you poke your head like a curious otter for all that time.
  2. 2.
    DON'T BRING YOUR GOOD FRIENDS TO THE EVENT, because they can realize you were not joking when you said that the last time you felt so nervous was when you shook hands with the Pope. And they finally conclude that it is not just your accent that makes what you say sound really, really odd!
  3. 3.
    DON'T TEST HER STATEMENTS, especially when she tells you that Gianluca is her favorite name. Never question performers into character; when sitting on Santa's lap, children are not supposed to ask him to proof they are his favorites!
  4. 4.
    DON'T ENGAGE IN INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATIONS on publishing and radio shows. Remember that you are in a strip club and not in a bookstore...
  5. 5.
    DON'T ADD AWKWADDNESS TO OTHER PEOPLE'S MOMENTS. When one of her female fans - who you can safely bet had cosmetic surgery to look like her idol - is finally taking a long awaited picture with her, please avoid to add unnecessary awkwardness with comments like "ohhh... She really looks like your little sister!"
  6. 6.
    DON'T FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD when she asks if you would rather have her topless in the picture with you. Again, that's a strip club and you should expect to be offered some nudity, she was not challenging the nature of your interest into her.